Odd noises in odd places

So I hear strange singing from the bathroom.

Me: What is going on in there?
DH: I've been pooping for too long and someone mentioned Muppet babies.

Apparently he was singing the theme song in funny voices. 

Interesting store inventory

Friend and I went to a store. She was looking for an inflatable mattress for a guest that was coming soon. We went up the a sales associate.

Friend: Where could we find an inflatable mattress?
Associate: *probably a touch confused from difference from previous conversation with another customer* Huh?
Friend: A blow up mattress?
Associate: Oh! Hmm.. It should be near here... hmmm.
*Associate 2 walks by*
Associate: Hey! Do you know where the blow up dolls are?
Associate 2: WHA? O.O
Associate: Blow up MATTRESS! OMG!
Associate 2: *Gives location while laughing*
Associate: I can't believe I said blow up doll. *laughs*
Us: Have a great day and thanks!

Way with words 2

DH spoke about the mating dance of the North American nerd. A friends' boyfriend apparently has "The mating song of the North American nerd " to match.

Silly Dad Stories (SDS)

Silly Dad stories (SDS): I have been told by several people I should write a book about my family as it would make a wonderful comedy. I'll put in random stories that I remember. As the most common perpetrator of odd stuff is dad he gets to be in the title.

Dad tends to try to make sure we eat fruit which is nice. In the other hand he overdoes it and will sneak fruit into our bags when Mum and I go to work. So we end up with surprise mashed banana in the bag. 

In the past couple of weeks I've extracted chocolates, nuts, apples, tangerines and persimmons from my bag (no bananas this time). Oh and that's what got in before I caught him adding more stuff. He has attempted strawberries and other berries but at least he saw reason on those. It's not a convenient food to have in, or near a lab.

He doesn't usually tell us when what he puts in our bags so unless we look in before we leave home, or catch him in the act its a surprise.

Never a dull moment.

Silly Dad.

I keep saying that my dad really tries to personify the "absentminded and weird professor" stereotype. He did teach physics when he was in his physical engineering graduate program. He's amazing with electronics and built his first hand held portable radio at age 9-10 in the late 1940's early 1950's. No one in the area had those at that time. He can put together a computer from parts (including welding the circuitry boards). General interaction.... not so much.

Yes, I have found odd things in strange places. Like a blanket in the microwave (it wasn't on thankfully).

He is not great with languages. He tries, and has been learning English since he was a teenager. Results unfortunately are iffy and he forgets or mixes things up, leading to much hilarity.

My BIL is vegetarian, so when introduced mentioned that.
Dad: Ah! *nods in understanding* You're a vegetable!

:Laugh: BIL, having English as his 5th language, understood the mistake and took it with humor.

Dad will also say "Yes" to any question in meaning that he heard it. Resulting in " Yes! ...No" sometime. This has resulted in confusion many a time of people going "Uhh ... so which is it?"

Extras from yesterday:

Me: Did you know they discovered the gene for curly hair?
Dad: Crocodile?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dad: *yelling from downstairs* Mira! Mira! Mira! (For no reason)
Me: * Yelling From upstairs* What!
Dad: *to Mom* Why is she yelling? *surprised*
Mum: *laughed*

This was all within 15 minutes yesterday, second was just as we came in, all together into the house.

Mom shared this also, Dad yesterday kept restarting one of the computers at work then complained to Mom that an icon changed and was not changing back. Mom kindly told him to clean the monitor. There was a piece of apple peel over the icon on the screen.

He also seems to really want us to go on vacation to Bermuda over the holidays. Which is nice but I can't go due to work and he doesn't want to go himself. He still keeps bugging me to agree to go even though I explained several times very clearly that I can't. So Mom and I started joking that he wants to send us off to the Bermuda Triangle to disappear.

Strong senses and weak attentions

I ate some salami as a snack and then got some dried fruits.
Mum looks in: It smells like salami here.
Me: *looking innocent show her the bowl of fruit*
Mum: Nope, still smells like salami. You ate it.
Me: Yup!

Amazing sense of smell right here.


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Also Mum found a chunk of butter (4mm thick, 3 by 7 cm) on the kitchen floor. Went to Dad to ask how that happened.
Dad: I jut put a little bit on the sandwich I don't know how that happened!
Mum: How much is your little bit not to notice the loss of this chunk?

Those multipawed cats.

Dad: So you've been to Key west?
Mom: Yes, went there for 4 days a couple of years ago with Mira and my sister.
Dad: So you visited the Hemfield place.
Mom and I: Hemingway!
Dad: Yes, that. Saw the cats with the weird paws.
Mom: Yes the 6 pawed cats.
Me: LOL
Mom: 6 toed! That's an odd image.

Suspicious fridge activity

This morning when I came down to the kitchen I saw Dad in the fridge, both arms and head all the way in. Mum doesn't like when he rearranges her fridge (his is in the basement). I was not trying to walk quietly or anything either. I just came near and looked in the fridge over his shoulder to see what he was doing and said "Good Morning". The response: He jumped up with a "I'm not doing anything! Don't scare me!" and ran off downstairs.

Hmmm....

Running to get you.

I was talking on the phone with Mom asking if they could pick me up.
Mom (about Dad): "He's running to get you..... except he's running the other way... with a ladder. ... Oh ok, now he's running to the door, without the ladder."

Directions are a little funny there,

Dad's call just now telling me when they'll be here.
"We're by the plaza, we'll be on the bread crust in 15 minutes."

Bread crust?

Songs of a strange childhood.

Dad has times where he just bursts you with sing song rhymes. Most of them are not high culture let's just say. It's like a moment of regression to his teen/childhood years. Most of these things he learned then.

This morning when in the car dad randomly burst out in a song that went something like this:
"Alibaba~ Fierce thief, burping up sausages parting often,
Aalibaba, Having rowdy parties, not letting go of the ladies~
Aalibaba going out to thief every night~ " (Translation).

Continued until Mom turned up the radio. I mentioned that I haven't heard that one before and he said he just made it up.

One which is rather ... interesting and uses homophones.

Russian:
"Nas rano, nas rano mama razbudila,
S rakami, s rakami, kashei nakarmila,
s rantsami, s rantsami v shkolu otpustila."

Translation (literal):
" Early, early, mother woke us up,
With crab, With crab, fed us oatmeal,
with book bags, with book bags, sent us off to school."

Now the repeated things have two meanings 1. literal original, 2. homophone word (the two combined is that one word).

"nas rano" - 1. Us early, 2. Pooped all over (not as polite)
"s rakami" - 1. With crab, 2. Poop
"s rantsami" - 1. With book bags, 2. Those who pooped themselves.

When he bursts out with these things we just assume he's regressing to his teen self.

And this one he taught me very young:

Russian:
"Grom grimit, zemlya tresyotsa,
Pop na kuritse nestyotsa,
Kuritsa legaetsa, pop sidit rugaetsa"

Translation:
"Thunder thunders, earth shakes,
Pope runs riding on a chicken,
Chicken is kicking, the pope is ranting. "

Then there are the rhymes. Such as:

Russian:
"Govorilo to litso chem sadyatsa na kryiltso"

Translation: Spoke that face with which the porch is sat on.

Invasion of the squirrel kind.

I came in to the lab to find a visitor there... building a nest.

Video evidence right here.

Some one left the window open overnight and this little one started building a nest here. Harvesting materials from the vines and from the paper towels in the room. We had to close the window after this. Better now so the squirrel could get start on a new nest faster rather than later with the far less nice exterminator.

Some image evidence of the rascal too from the time we were thinking "Aww, she's getting things for her nest in the vines".. not in the next room:

Double check which bag is lunch, triple check even!

One time dad packed his lunch containers in plastic bag. Then went to clean the litter box, packed that in a plastic bag to throw out.

He put a bag in his bag and threw one out then went to work. At work he got ready to eat a late breakfast, opened his bag.... and found used cat litter.

Poor dad had to go and buy lunch that day.

Scent of good food travels far and fast.

Mum giving me a boiled sausage after she just opened the lid on the pot and hears a door slam from the basement.
Mum: See! He's smelled these and is coming for them.
Dad: Where is my half sausage piece~~?
Mum(To me): See?

Chanukah Minerva?

My parents were out on a walk and dad saw a Menorah in a store window.
Dad: Oh! Look at that Minevra!
Mom: Uhh, It's a menorah.
Dad: Yes that! Did I say something different?
Mom ...-_-... just... don't speak.

Wandering potatoes and evil seaguls

Mum is making draniki (latkes) today. Well she got the bag of potatoes out. Then apparently carried it around becuase she got side tracked, put it down and lost it. Well the bag of potatoes was found on a couch in front of the TV in the living room.

------------------------------------------------------------
Parents went to feed the swans on the pier today. Well instead of peaceful enjoyment they got beaten up by greedy seagulls. One smacked mum in the face with a wing and another landed on dad's head, among other "attacks." They wish they had a camera with them though not sure how safe the camera would be.

Avatar, the dad edition, and converstation volume

Dad's description of what might be Avatar movie.

"Animation dinosaur and a man on top with big eyeses."


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dad talking (more yelling than talking) on the phone with his friend.
Dad's friend: *yelling* "I can't hear you as well are you away from the phone!"
Dad: *yells back* "So speak louder!"
Dad's friend: "I would but this is my limit!"

Time confusing and happy hats

Dad's cousin from Los Angeles called this morning and dad greeted him: "Good Evening!"

It was 9am in LA.

Gave dad a hat which he has been asking for for a while. He was walking around wearing the wool hat inside the house for half the evening yesterday.

Traffic light control powers, initiate!

Parents waiting for me to get in the car.
Dad: Change to parking.
Mum: She's right there there's no reason to do that.
Dad: Fine, change the traffic light!
Mum: What?

Jacket wolves of various colors.

Dad: Look at that man in the black jacket, the white jacket one with the brown.... gray hood.
Mom and I:  who?
Dad: I was chased by two wolves, all seven of them trying to bite me, both were gray.

Feline addition to interaction.

Soon after Fargo joined the family.

Fargo was an 8 month old, black and white boy. Came pre-named from the shelter. Then DH and him met we couldn't pry them apart so he came home with DH, then fiance.

We were chatting on messenger.

Me: .... I was knitting and encountered a wet spot in the yarn
DH: eh?
Me: ...cat drool
DH: hehe.. i was hoptttttttttttttr5yhuasssssssssssssl.............. ..........................................
Me: o.O
DH: FARGO

Good secrets and what to do with leftovers.

Mom: Is it ok if I heat these up for you. *shows left over chicken pieces from Giggles5yrs food*
Me: Getting rid of leftovers by feeding them to me now?
Mom: Where else would I put them?

--------------
Giggles was an attention hog and went on about "I have a secret and I won't tell you~"
Dad: I like secrets... of other people.

Triple A

Dad was trying to remember how to write AAA (Triple A) and below are his two tries. Note, 3 (three) in Russian reads as "tree".



"3pala" (tree-pala) (means "3 fingered female" in Russian, to add to the silly)
"Trepaly" (Which sounds like "they roughed up (made ragged) something up" in Russian.)

Mum then took pity and wrote the last one out.

Spectacular bouts of silly

Dad has this saying / poem that states that you mentally grow till 40 and then start regressing back after so, 50 is 30 and 70 is 10.

Dad had a spectacular showing of silly last week.

First he was being scatterbrained and lost his mittens everywhere, including under the car.

Within one hour, he busted out with a fart poem (about farts not with them ). Tried to scare and catch the cat falling over in the process. Tried to vacuum my hair then tried the same with Mom.  Finished up with a fart song.

Mom at that point deemed that he is soon reaching age of Mowgli (younger niece who was then a new born) in mental regression.

He later in the evening put a really nice wooden bowl in the microwave. The lacquer bubbled up on it in parts and stunk up the house. Thankfully the wood didn't warp and I was able to smooth and oil damaged parts. I still need to get lacquer to fix it.

(Note: He did some really nice things too bit those couple of days.... arrg!)

Funny dates and anti-retirement committee

Dad: Today is the 4th or 5th?
Mom: The 6th.
Dad: So why does it say the 7th here (cell phone)?
Mom: LOL


-------------------------------------------------------
How do you know that you talk too much on the phone? This is how:

My uncle, dad's brother, has asked/ begged dad to not retire with the reason for it being that if Dad does uncle will not have any peace and rest. My uncles are retired.

Genecological tree

We were doing some ancestry research through asking relatives what they remember. Dad then asked if we were making a Genecological tree. (Genealogy family tree)

Secrets are best shared.

Giggles at 5 years old: "I have secret. *tells it to me* Don't tell any body, It's a secret. I already told everyone."

Let the stupids out?

We were driving in on campus today and there was an unusual amount of traffic so Mum guessed people were double parking to let students out.

Dad: So they are taking so long to let the stupids out?
Mum: ...Students... *LOL*

It was actually a film crew blocking things. They are filming what looked like "The Good Wire" on the sign. I'm guessing it's either to throw of fans, bad handwriting or my dyslexia involved there as it's most likely "The Good Wife" crew. One of the poor actresses was out there in a short dress, and it's just barely above freezing with snow all around here.

Olympics are funnier in Russian

Because of the announcers.

I vastly prefer to watch the Olympics, especially Figure Skating in Russian. Other than them actually showing the whole thing *grumbles at NBC*, they actually tell what song is playing and some interesting background and meaning. In addition they explain the technical parts and scoring. Much of this is during the breaks between sets, which they actually show.

They have a tendency to have silly moments and get into weird discussion too.

After the Flamenco: "I am remembering Spanish but I forgot all the words."

After the Ukrainian folk dance: "The other announcer is indisposed because he was dancing along."

After the Japanese dance: "I was waiting for them to drop it during the whole program but they only did at the end." (Talking about the fans the dancers were using, they forgot to say "fan" for a bit there.)

After one of the dances: "They had wonderful creative lifts as you can only do so much with two legs, two arms and two heads."

My mum just about fell over laughing at the last one.

Fight your weakness!

Dad is touch avoidant. He will literally run in circles to escape a hug, which is highly amusing to Mom and I. Even putting a hand on his shoulder can trigger an overreaction. So we bug him like that when he starts rambling for example, because asking him doesn't work. Nothing harmful to him, usually he runs off laughing.

Dad: Everyone has a weakness they should work on fighting. What is your weakness?
Me: *bugs dad*
Dad: It's me! Fight your weakness!
Mom: She is!

Engineering snores

Dad is a morning person. He will start science or philosophical discussions with use in the morning. Unfortunately I'm decidedly not a morning person and mum is not much of one either so the discussions don't go well, especially when he starts them in the car at 7 something am with us as a captive audience and just doesn't stop. I usually can't form full sentences that early.

Dad: What is the difference between engineering concept 1 and engineering concept 2?
Me: Loudness of the snores.

Dad actually quite liked that answer.

Tangerines rot into bananas.

I accidentally dropped a tangerine behind my desk.

Dad: "Oh no, now it will rot back there and grow into a big banana!"

I retrieved the tangerine by the way so no bananas.
__________________________________________________________________

In American stores, dad speaks in Russian. In Russian stores dad speaks in English.

Mom and I do not know the answer the mystery of why he does that.

Lawn weed overkill.

My Dear Uncle decided he needed to kill the weeds on his lawn so bought a weed killer, without checking what exactly it was of course. So he sprays it over a big patch of the yard, a few times. Then starts wondering why all plant life in that area is dying.

So he checks the package and of course this is a very strong plant killer, one that's not selective to what it kills. He now has a grass-less hole of plant death in a prominent part of his yard.

In desperation to fix his yard he calls for help. His son suggested he put some new soil in and take out some of the contaminated soil. Not wanting to do that much work yet he starts seeding the spot with grass.

Seventy dollars worth of seeds later the patch is still not grown but his yard is not popular with animal life, if not plant life. He now has a few squirrels, two chipmunks, and a slew of birds waiting for their daily dinner of seeds.

We'll see how long till he gets the new soil.

Importance of reading labels.

Uncle with his wife went to buy a garden hose. They picked out a nice one. Came home, attached it, turned on the water and.... it leaks all over. So what do they do? Return the hole filled hose and get another of the same kind. Repeat the testing process, with all the same results.

Apparently they bought a hose that is a sprinkler hose with holes at regular intervals for watering there grass.

They of course did not read the label.

Dark talk and oddly flavored kefir

Dad over the phone to uncle: " Dark matter has dark energy and overall this topic is dark talk..."

Kefir - sour milk product.

In a store:
Dad to me: Have you seen the Turkey kefir?

Fridge defense

I made mini-samosas today. Yum! Couldn't finish all of them so I covered them and left them on the table, they'd be ruined if they went into the fridge now.

Dad tends to put everything, including things that really shouldn't go in there, in the fridge. So I put a note on top of the covered plate

Note: (translation from Russian) "Do not put these in the fridge! Don't touch these dad!"

About 20 minutes later dad comes up All ready to and eager to clean things up by putting them in the fridge. Turns on the light and get ready to grab the plate and calls to Mom "Can I put these in the fridge?"

Then he sees and looks closer at the note.

Dad: "Nooooooo~!"

Mom: *About fell over laughing.*

I am happy to report that the plate is safe for now.

All going left here.

It was an interesting Saturday morning. First I lost the tabi (split toe socks) I used for dance class last time. Searched all over and nothing.

Ok, I'll get a different pair. I dig some up, pack them away in my bag and head to class. Pull them out, put one on... and then stopped...

The second sock looked odd, I looked closer... Yup! It's the same as the first.

I brought two left socks to class.

It has trees!

DH, his mom, Turean (best friend) and I were looking for places for our wedding ceremony this weekend. We were luck in that we found just the place in the one day of searching. It was just right. We wanted something with a nice view and we got it.

As DH so eloquently put it as he walked into the reception room and looked out the window:

"*grin*.. It has trees!"

No, he will not hear the end of this.

That sun lamp.

Mum this morning while driving:
Me: "It's so gray and dreary."
Mum: "Yeah"
Minute later.
Mum: "Did you see that? That bright lamp, it shined straight into my eyes from the side"
Me: "No"
We pass by a building and get another view.
Mum: "There it is again! What is...... it's the sun!"

Russian Radio person:
"Students get discounts for education....err... medical health related complaints at this doctor."

Neanderthal English?

Dad (aka grandpa): Neanderthals didn't speak well so they only spoke a few words.
5 year old niece (Giggles): So they spoke like Grandpa in English?

Poor Dad.

Dad is 8.

Dad and older niece, Giggles from now on, were being silly and both made very stupid jokes.

Me: How old are you Giggles?
Giggles: I'm 10.
Me: How old are you Dad?
Dad: *proudly* I'm 8!

Students are interesting...and I'm 10.

One of the professors takes a bus to work and likes to sit in the back where the more interesting people, and rowdy students tend to sit. Overheard this conversation between to students, boy with wandering hands and a shy girl.

Boy: "Are you a virgin?"
Girl: "Not yet."



Hurrr....

And why yes, dad and I are 10.

Dad compared me to a praying mantis, so I ran at him with arms in a similar position. So he ran off yelling "I can't run fast enough."

Wash the wound in your soul?

Dad: I am a smart and intelligent pan.

This morning I made some salt rinse for my wound area from surgery, which has been a bit achy this morning. I left it on the table to cool a bit and looked away for a minute. Just one minute.... gone. Dad poured it out. Cue my ranting of "how could you not ask, etc".

Me: I needed it to wash my wound!
Dad: Who will wash the wound in my soul?
Me: I will! *evil grin*
Dad: *runs away* Nooooooo!

You know you've had cats too long when...

Dad and I had a cat meow chorus in the car on the way to work. Mom said she would have poured water on us if she had any... then broke down in laughter.

Noncontagious contagion.

Me: *yawns* I'm not tempting you, am I?
Mum: ...*turns yawning then says* Not at all!

Stalking bread.

Dad came upstairs to talk to Mum and I wanted to go downstairs to get a piece of bread, ended up walking behind him. He freaks out and runs as if I'm chasing him, I walk at a regular pace and do a bit of an evil laugh for show. He keeps running to the basement and acts like I'm chasing and traumatizing him. Meanwhile I calmly walk over to the bread, pull out a slice and walk off.

DH has deemed my dad awesome.

Dad also mistakenly called the street I work on as "bedroom." So said over the phone "We'll pick you up on bedroom!"

High school student edition

Squid dissection class:
I was helping out in identifying the organs in the squid, Started working with one group of students. They had two squids per group.

Girl: Could you help me find the sex organs of this squid? It doesn't show on the diagram.
Me: What do the instructions say about it?
Girl: Well, it says the girl squid has yellow organs and in the boy it looks white.
Me: Ok, look here *points* this looks yellow doesn't it.
Girl: Ohhh! It's a girl! *announces to the class* I have a girl squid! She's a girl!


A little while later, I'm helping a boy in the same group, different squid.

Boy: Is it a boy or a girl? I can't see whether it's white or not.
Me: *point out the are where the gonads are* See here there is no yellow, right?
Boy: Right...
Me: This looks whiter doesn't it?
Boy: *Puts gloved fingers on the area* Here?
Me: Yes.
Boy: So that means it's a boy? I have a boy?
Me: Yes.
Boy: So I'm touching his...
Me: ...yes
Boy:I'm touching his ..parts, now?
Me: ..yes...
Boy: Paul and I are VERY close! Paul is a boy! I have a boy!





They finished the class with formal funeral services for their squid as they put them into the trash bag.

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Now if the Malawi air pollution law was in effect, a good chunk of the students would be in jail. Thankfully farts are not a punishable offense here, as offensive as they may be.

One time the teacher got annoyed at the class being too loud and not listening and said that he would only start teaching the class if they stayed quiet for one minute, timed. It took them almost 10 minutes to get quiet enough for an attempt. About 50 seconds in, one student let out a loud one, in the silent room, pandemonium resulted. Of course they needed 5 more minutes till they finally reached the minute of quiet.

These were 9th graders, poor kid was embarrassed.

A while later, I'm sitting in on a class of seniors. Learning by observing the teacher. All was ok, the class was not that great behavior wise that day.

Middle of the class two girls jump up with a wail of disgust, run to a window, climb the radiator to open it and stick their heads out.

Thirty seconds later a wave of "Ewwws" and "Oh God!"s start as students from the center of the class jump up and flee to the right of the room.

A minute or two later... A wall of smell hits the rest of the class.

And the single student sitting in the middle responds to accusations of "How did you produce a far THAT bad!?" by saying proudly "It wasn't one, it was five!"

Here I give the differences between freshmen and seniors.

Differences in parenting.

I bang a body part into wall, not seriously hurt just a bit ouchy type.
Mum: Don't break the walls.
Me: Ugh.

DH bangs a body part into wall.
MIL: Don't do that, it hurts.
DH: Thanks mom.  -.-__-.-

Tangerine, or is it...?

Dad: I'll bring you a tangerine, do not refuse to eat it! *goes off*
Me: Err.. ok.
Dad: *puts an orange next to me*
Me: That's not a tangerine!
Dad: It grew! *runs off*

I had mum hand it back to him saying "Here it your tangerine"
Dad: That's not a tangerine!
Me: It grew!


Instead of "Let's go" dad will say "Go out" or "Go away".

DH has a way with words

Description of a relative/ friend's really... REALLY bad dancing.

"It's the mating dance of the great white, north American nerd."

My cat is nuts.

Older boy cat- 16 pounds, not cause he's fat, just big - Fargo
Younger girl cat - plump, orange, and a bit....slow....She's pretty. - Holly

Yesterday I tried to take a nap, tried.... Fargo decided that he needed to be under the blanket and pretty much snuggled to my crotch... and he was mercifully calm once he settled, other than the crotch eyes under the blanket when I looked in, which is a bit disconcerting.

...Holly decided she was bored and went looking for Fargo. She noticed the strange shifting lumps on the bed, at which point I stopped moving my feet lest they be eaten, because anything moving under blankets is for nomming according to her. Not deterred, Holly pressed on, she started poking Fargo though the blanket in a true younger sibling manner. He didn't budge, she got bored for a bit and laid down on the other side of my leg making sure to pin me down as well.

After a little rest she decided it was time to come back for more poking. When that didn't work, she decided to walk on him! Mind you he has earned that, he walked on her, and sat on her, when she was in the flexible carrier, and walks on DH and I all the time. He did get out after that and gave Holly such a look, if looks could kill...

He then proceeded to yodel for the next hour and a half for food... there goes that nap. I persevered and played possum because that's easier than him headbutting me full force in the nose as he has taken to doing when he wants something and I'm sitting up. His love...hurts. After getting food, at the regular time he gets food every day, he wanted more food. Then play, which he got, then more food, which he didn't get. After which he climbed to the top of the dish cabinet to get the food himself because he deemed humans inept at that task and was evicted by me with a wet towel, twice. About a half hour later he got his nightly snack (to go with his Kitty Claritin for allergies) and calmed a bit.

DH then did a thorough cleaning of the letterbox because goodness it needed it. He dried it so we could put baking soda and then litter in but once it was dry and on a flat surface Fargo decided he needed to nest in the empty box. One feline eviction by DH later, we put the baking soda down and poured sand in. DH barely had enough time to stop pouring before Fargo dove in and settled in for a pee. He had sand OVER his paws. He always has to be the first to go in new litter, cause of kitty OCD, but this was ridiculous.

DH was right next to him though the whole process as he wanted to even out the sand to cover all parts of the box bottom, Fargo definitely doesn't have a shy bladder.... or a shy anything.... And it's not like he didn't go, or have a chance to go, before. The litter box was out of action for 10 minutes at most.

After all that he happily passed out for the night.

This morning, I was trying to sleep till a reasonable time but, I was woken up by a half hour of cat yodels (thank you Fargo) because after he had his breakfast, he wanted another breakfast and DH's breakfast as well....

What the hell cat? There was no catnip or drugging, just pure cat crazy. He's was comparatively calm before and returned to calm that evening.

Explaining meanings of embarrassing words to parents

Dad has been learning English since he was 14. It has yet to take fully even though he is in his 70's now. He stopped for a little while but has picked it up again this year. It's great for his mind as exercise even if it is somewhat futile. But him doing this, means he asks me and mum for explanations or translations to words all the time. Oh dear.

One of the words a couple of weeks ago: "hoe" the gardening implement. I can now attest that I have had to explain the other meaning, the slang one, of that to both my parents. Dad kept trying to repeat that, on it's own...in public... loudly. He is now banned forever from saying it by mum.

You know you sneeze loud when....

There were some really strong thunderstorms last night. The thunder woke me up and I thought something exploded because of the noise.

Meanwhile my Mom dreamt that Dad sneezed and woke up to the last of the rumbles of a seriously loud thunderclap.

I'm guessing that can go on those lists of "how to tell if you sneeze loud."

Value in being youngest

Dad: In the Russian folk stories there are always three brothers, just like me and my brothers. The oldest is very smart, the middle is so so, and the youngest.... well... not so much, but he has a lot of luck. *says proudly* I'm the youngest!
Me: XD
Dad: You youngest is lucky, they got the princesses.
Me: Says something about the tsars/ nobles if they were the youngest.
Me: DH is a middle child. (of 3)
Dad: So are his sisters older than him?
Mom: If he is the middle child how could they both be older?
Dad: See, she (mom) is all logical and analyzes every word, unlike me.

Mom's the oldest. 

Song of her people.

Holly just stuck out her tongue out the side of her mouth, turned it sideways and sang the song of her people. It sounded nothing like her usual meows, DH was much confused.

She wanted to play. She's become a demanding little one. Her last demand was a meow, then a second later a much louder meow because I didn't react fast enough.

Teacher 2.0?

Elections yesterday one proposition was for tech in the classroom grant that passed:

DH: All this and we are still on teacher 1.0, where are the cyborg teachers?
Me: I'm here... (Having a titanium tooth )
DH: Close enough!

Fargo the clean freak kitty

There was some aggressive bathing just now. Fargo raised holly in part and bathed her when she was a kitten. He went into full mama cat mode then. I think just like human mothers, he never quite left that role. He's also very meticulous about cleaning himself. Holly, not so much.

Fargo: You don't wash well enough kid. I will bathe you NAO!
Holly: I'm ok thanx.. really.....no need.... ok a little is fine.... would you stop damn it! ARGHHH!

So now there are two clean kitties, though Holly is is now the cleaner one against her will. Fargo literally held her down for parts of bathing. She tolerated some, washed his face a bit, then had enough, slapped him and ran away. 

Fargo is a brazen jerk.

Fargo - almost 6 year old boy cat
Holly - 3 year old girl cat.

I walk into the kitchen and find Fargo with his head stuck in the trash can, amusingly the recycling one where he won't actually find anything food worthy. He valiantly attempts anyway.

I remove him from the trash can and he gives me a very snotty brat look. I look away to check on the oden that's cooking, and hear him trying to get back into the trash can. So the brat has now lost his kitchen privileges till dinner.

Intro- Why am I doing this?

In a family full of quirky people and sillier pets we have lost of funny small events. I'm just looking for a place to share them.